Let’s say you’re out and about, and you see an attractive man
you’d like to meet. You want to go up and talk to him, but you haven’t flirted
in years and putting yourself in a situation where you might get rejected feels
way too scary.
So, you decide to keep moving, and you end up letting an
opportunity pass by for meeting someone you wanted to get to know. Something
you might not understand about men is, they are just as scared to approach you for
the same reason you fear going up to them.
Well, what do you do?
You need to encourage men in a way that lets them know you’re
interested so they feel safe talking to you. The 5 tips I want to share with
you will help you feel more confident when these situations for meeting come up
for you.
Smile and Make Eye Contact
Smile at a man you’re attracted to and make eye contact with him
for five seconds. Yes, five full seconds….
It will seem like an eternity, but it’s a signal to him that you’re interested.
If you’re sitting with a friend at an upscale bar and you see a
man across the room, look up at him and smile. Then turn back to your friend.
About 10 seconds later, look at him again. You’ve just signaled you’re
interested, and he can approach if he wants to get to know you.
Ask Well Thought Out Questions
Get a man’s attention by asking a question. Remember, men are
wired to help women, so your questions want to trigger his hero response.
Here’s some examples of questions you can ask to get the dialogue
going between the two of you.
Scenario #1: At Happy Hour
You’re at a happy hour
with a friend. A man sits next to you and orders red wine. Tell him you’ve wanted
to try red wine and ask him what he’d recommend. This situation gives him a
chance to share his knowledge with you.
Make sure to thank him
and tell him how much you appreciate the info and watch his chest puff up
because he’s proud he could help you.
Scenario #2: The Coffee Shop
You’re at a coffee shop.
Ask if the chair next to a nice-looking man is taken. Or if you’re in line, ask
what his favorite coffee is or talk about the weather. These are ice breakers
that can get a conversation going.
Scenario #3: The Dog Park
You’re at a dog park.
Ask a man you’d like to get to know about his dog’s veterinarian and if he’d
recommend him or her for your puppy.
Listen to a Man’s Words
Make a habit of listening to men. Sometimes they give you hints
about being interested in you. The problem is, men and women speak a slightly
different language that neither always gets. Here’s what I mean:
Heidi was sitting at a bar having dinner with her friend. The two
of them struck up a conversation with a good-looking man who sat down next to
them. Her friend asked him the question, “What’s in that salad? It looks really
good,” and the conversation between the three of them took off.
When her friend left, Heidi and this attractive man from
out of town continued talking. Over and over he shared with her that he
wasn’t locked into where he lived and that he’d seriously dated women from
cities other than the one he lived in.
Heidi totally missed his male language hint for, “Are you interested in dating me even
though I live out of town?”ultimately losing out on an
opportunity to date a man she was quite attracted to.
Drop an Item to Strike a Conversation
To this day, I Love Lucy™ remains a favorite television show. In
one episode, Lucy, wearing a wig, was pretending to be another woman. She
wanted to see if Ricky would flirt with her. Back in the 1950s, a woman would
drop her handkerchief in front of a man to let him know she was interested in
him.
So, in this episode, Lucy drops her handkerchief and says to Ricky,
“Pardon me,” fully expecting him to pick it up for her. Both understood
this was a signal she was interested and, if the attraction was mutual, he
could start a conversation with her.
You can do the same thing with men today. Instead of using a
handkerchief, try dropping your phone if it won’t shatter or a folder or
package you might be carrying. Who knows what it might lead to!
Communicate Your Interest
Your
job is to let a man know you’re interested in having him approach you. His job is to ask you out if he’s interested in you. If he’s not, it
doesn’t mean he’s personally rejecting you. He might be married, have a
girlfriend, or you might not be his type.
Just move on… There are plenty of other men out there. Chalk the
experience up as an opportunity to practice your flirting skills.
How often do you meet
interesting men in real life? How do you communicate your interest in them?
Have your actions produced any fruit? Please share your stories and tips in the
comments below!